Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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