She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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