oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
