Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
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I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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