she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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