Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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