All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
