...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Text me some of your sweat
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