When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
