Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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