I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i came on her dog
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
