marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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