i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
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Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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