I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
