i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
