If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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