i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
