When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
