If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Michael Bay diarrhea
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
