$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize