Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
