Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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