I got chris browned last night
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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