what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she looked like the before picture.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
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From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
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Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize