youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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