He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
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Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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