Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
