When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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