porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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