i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she peed on how many people?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
