i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
