I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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