Where is the hickey?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize