i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
