It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize