false alarm. still invincible.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
