I can't watch pbs sober anymore
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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