Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
