Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
