I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I got inside last night via doggy door
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
