I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
my liver is dry heaving
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize