You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
