but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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