dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
