yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
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I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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