You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
