Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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