please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
