no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
