the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
