oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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