Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
