Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Shame is for Republicans.
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