youre lurking in front of me
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
