Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize