Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
