i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You took a bar mat shot.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
