she was so not down for the gang bang
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
