I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
